I'm going to be honest and candid today.
Because I think I ought to be on such a blog.
I'm not about portraying just the comfortable ideal.
I'd rather be real.
Quite often, I do wonder if all this is too much. I enjoy the animals and the garden, I really do! A friend watching me with the animals remarked later how she could see the joy I have tending them. Fact is, I can do it. I can handle it....them. But couple that with everything else and I wonder if I am making myself stronger, or heading for burn out.
Then, I remind myself, it is the busiest time of year. There's harvest, the animals, winter preparations, homeschooling, and our unique life situations such as illnesses and auto repairs. I've had a lot thrust upon me that no one could have planned for or foreseen.
So, part of the garden lays unharvested and I feel that guilty twinge of
Am I doing enough?
Could I work harder?
Am I failing at this?
Will I be able to sustain our micro farm (mostly single-handedly) and be able to care for my children, my husband.....myself?
They love the animals and help where they can. It is a good learning experience. They've been champions and hubby is impressed with me.
But, I honestly have prayed that if it is taking away from my family, I am willing to sell out and stop. Regroup, refocus, maybe try again another time.
But, I don't have the answer.
What I do have are animals depending on me and a harvest wrapping up.
I have weak days.
I have strong days.
I have today.